This group will be run by Kelli, however it is a peer-to-peer floor. This group is meant to be a calm and safe place to meet every other week, where those grieving the loss of someone by suicide, can meet with fellow survivors.
All are welcome from DE, PA and MD and others!
Accept The Intensity Of The Grief Grief following a suicide is always complex. Survivors don't "get over it." Instead, with support and understanding they can come to reconcile themselves to its reality. Don't be surprised by the intensity of their feelings. Sometimes, when they least suspect it, they may be overwhelmed by feelings of grief. Accept that survivors may be struggling with explosive emotions, guilt, fear and shame, well beyond the limits experienced in other types of deaths. Be patient, compassionate and understanding.
-www.survivorsofsuicide.com
Five Myths About Grief
When it comes to grief and the mourning process you may find that many people have an opinion regarding how you should act and what your grief should look like. Unfortunately, many of these opinions are wrong and can hinder your grief journey more than help. Many times people simply repeat what they have heard others say, and unknowingly, pass on myths about grief.
There are a lot of myths about grief but we would like to focus on only five of what may be the most commonly expressed.
Myth #1: "You Just Need To Get Over It".
Perhaps Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt said it best when he said, "To think that we as human beings �get over' grief is ridiculous! We never �get over' our grief but instead become reconciled to it" (Wolfelt, 2000).
Grief is not like a headache that goes away with medication and rest. Neither is grief like a broken arm that is set in place and mended in a few weeks time. Grief is not an event that has a set ending point, it is a life-long process. Once experienced, it is always with us. It has been observed that grief "may be more like learning to manage the permanent loss of a limb than allowing a wound to heal" (Corr, Nabe, & Corr, 2003).
Myth #2: "Everybody Grieves The Same Way".
This could not be further from the truth. The truth is, no two people ever grieve exactly the same way. Grief is very unique to every individual and with every death experience. The way that a person grieves is dependant upon various factors. According to Corr, Nabe, and Corr (2003 p. 215-217), there are five variables that influence the way people grieve. These five variables are:
The relationship of the individual with the deceased,
The circumstances surrounding the death,
The personality of the bereaved,
The developmental situation of the bereaved person, "that is, how one's being a child, adolescent, adult, or elderly person influences one's grief and mourning",
The support system that the bereaved person has and how effective the support system is.
That is why even both parents will grieve the loss of their child differently from each other.
Myth #3: "The Tears Of Grief Are A Sign Of Weakness".
Even though some women may feel this way, it is generally the men in our society that think if they let themselves cry they are showing weakness. This is not true. In grief, tears are not a sign of weakness, they are a sign of having loved an individual who has died. We cry because of our loss, and sometimes because of the loss someone else has experienced.
Men are many times afraid of the vulnerability that crying brings. Men, like everyone else, need to allow themselves to express their emotions, especially in grief (Westberg, 1985, p. 26). Dr. Glen W. Davidson has observed that when people deny or repress their grief, our society sometimes will think they are handling it well because they do not "break down" or "fall apart" emotionally. When in fact, they are in great pain (Davidson, 1984, p.29-30).
In fact, "tears do relieve emotional stress" and there has been some thought "that tears may have potential healing value" (Worden, 2002, p. 20). So, if you can not let yourself cry in front of other people, go to some private place and allow yourself the freedom to let your emotions flow. You will be better off because you did.
Myth #4: "Religion And Spiritual Beliefs Always Bring Comfort To The Bereaved".
This is also not true. Even the most religious person may not be comforted with words like, "At least she is in a better place", or "You know you will see him again". To say such things is to deny the person's pain and grief. Their inward response might be, "I know, but I want him here with me now".
Some times "religious" sayings are a great comfort to the grieving. Many times they are not. To assume that a Scripture verse or religious thought will be comforting is the wrong assumption to make. It is most thoughtful and caring to allow yourself to be quiet and listen to the bereaved and allow them to express their thoughts and emotions no matter what they may be. If you ask the person who is grieving if they think it would be helpful to them, then it is appropriate to read scripture or quote a verse.
Myth #5: "Children Are Too Young To Grieve".
The only people who will say this are those who did not lose a close family member as a child. Some people think this is true because smaller children don't fully understand death and it's finality. However, "Grief does not focus on one's ability to �understand', but instead upon one's ability to �feel'. Any child mature enough to love is mature enough to grieve" (Wolfelt, 1998, p. 20). Dr. J. William Worden writes, "Children do mourn", they simply do not mourn the same as adults (Worden, 2002, p. 159-163).
It is true that sometimes children do not seem to be affected at all when they are told about a death. "They may carry on with �life as usual' and show no outward signs of being impacted". They do not always express how they really feel. "Some children are unable to pinpoint how they feel" (The Dougy Center, 1997, p.6). Even so, they do grieve and they need to be given the freedom to grieve in their own way.
References
Corr, C. A., Nabe, C. M., & Corr, D. M. (2003). Death and dying, life and living (4th ed.). Belmont, Ga.: Wadsworth/Thomson Learning.
Davidson, G. W. (1984). Understanding mourning: A guide to those who grieve. Minneapolis: Augsburg Publishing House.
Dougy Center, The (1997). Helping children cope with death. Portland, Or.: The Dougy Center For Grieving Children.
Westberg, G. E. (1985). Good grief: A constructive approach to the problem of loss. Philadelphia: Fortress Press.
Wolfelt, A. D. (1998). Helping children cope with grief. Bristol, Pa.: Accelerated Development.
Wolfelt, A. D. (2000). Helping dispel 5 common myths about grief. Batesville, In.: Batesville Management Services.
Worden. J. W. (2002). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (3rd. Ed.). New York: Springer Publishing Co., Inc.
General Loss and Grief
"Center for Loss & Life Transition"
www.centerforloss.com
This is Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt's website. Dr. Wolfelt is a noted author, teacher, grief counselor, and Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition in Fort Collins, Colorado. The website is host to extensive resources for the mourner, the care-giver, and grieving children. Some topics that are discussed are "The Mourner's Bill of Rights", "Helping yourself Heal During the Holiday Season", and "Helping Children With Funerals".
"Grief Recovery"
www.griefnet.org
This site offers grief services and on-line support groups related to grief and loss for families. It provides a link for children, made by children. It also includes support for bereaved families following a suicide. There is a "bookstore" as well, complete with book reviews.
"Grief, Loss, and Recovery"
www.grieflossrecovery.com
Provides an extensive list of articles associated with loss, grieving, trauma, and diverse kinds of losses. Moreover, it includes a series of links, poems, memoirs, and an on-line grief support group.
"National Funeral Directors Association"
www.nfda.org
Offers funeral-related information and is an excellent resource for topics such as "Understanding Grief", Frequently Asked Questions About Grief", "Coming To Terms With Suicide", and many topics concerning children and grief.
Frequently Asked Questions
Even though everyone grieves in their own unique way, there are some questions that are commonly asked about grief and the mourning process. We have listed below 10 of the most frequently asked questions. In order to read the response simply click on the question you would like to have answered.
1. "How Long Can I Expect My Grief To Last?"
This question is asked with the expectation that grief has a starting point and an ending point. This is simply not the case. There is no time in which our grief completely ends but there are a few indications that the hardest parts are over. William Worden explains it this way. "There is a sense in which mourning can be finished, when people regain an interest in life, feel more hopeful, experience gratification again, and adapt to new roles. There is also a sense in which mourning is never finished" (Warden, 2002, p. 47).
2. "Am I Going Crazy?"
There are times we feel like we are going crazy during our grief process. This involves a lack of concentration, disorganization, and a numbness that we seem unable to move out of. There are some things you can do. Making a list of "Things to be done" can help. We don't have to worry about remembering the things we need to do if we have written them down on a pad of paper. Some people have written their lists in a notebook and used it as a kind of diary from day to day. As you complete a task, cross it off the list. As we cross items off the list we are encouraged to see that we are actually getting things done. Anything not accomplished then can simply be put on the list for tomorrow.
If you are feeling like you are going crazy, you may be fine, and this may be a normal part of your grief process. Call our Bereavement Coordinator and talk to him about it. It helps to talk to a grief specialist when we feel this way. It allows us to make sure our reaction is normal and it enables us to receive additional guidance.
3. "Will The Pain Ever Go Away?"
Pain is always a part of our grief. Someone very important to you is gone and that reality will always remain with you, and it hurts. How long will it last? No one can say. It all depends upon your relationship with the person who has died. It may be a short time, it may be a long time. Just know that the sharpness of the pain will eventually go away. In time your pain will subside to a kind of mellow remembrance. Even then, the pain may spike back without a moments notice as you hear a song, read a poem, see a photo, or smell a fragrance that reminds you of your loved one.
4. "When Will My Life Get Back To Normal?"
The bad news is, it never will. It can't. A person that was once a significant part of what was "normal" is no longer here. One aspect of the mourning process is learning to live without the person who has died (Worden, 2002). Some have explained that outcome as "learning to develop and live with �new normals' throughout the rest of the survivor's life" (Corr, Nabe, & Corr, 2003, p.229-230).
Therefore, what was normal before the loved one died, can not be regained. But as time goes by and you begin to adjust to the person not being present, you will begin to find what that "new normal" will look like.
5. "A Special Day is Approaching. How Do I Cope?"
We would recommend that you read the book The Empty Chair: Handling Grief on Holidays and Special Occasions, by Susan J. Zonnebelt-Smeenge and Robert C. Vries (2002). In it they give many practical insights along with things you can do to help you cope. Among them are: 1) Take care of yourself physically. Be sure to drink plenty of water, eat right, get proper exercise, and plenty of rest. 2) Give yourself the freedom to celebrate the occasion differently than you have before. You may even want to skip it all together this year. That too is alright. 3) Give yourself time to focus on the feelings of your loss. Give yourself an appointed time to do this and it will help you not to avoid your feelings and give you the safety you need to express them.
6. "Why Do I Feel So Angry?"
Anger is a normal human emotion. "The human is always looking for someone to blame. If we have lost someone to death, we express hostility toward anyone who cared for the patient" (Westberg, 1985, p.51). As we go through the list of people to blame, we may eventually come to God. "How could God allow such a thing to happen?" It is normal to feel this way and it is a common reaction to the death of a loved one to ask questions like this.
Some say it is wrong to be angry. The truth is that anger is just an honest emotion. It is not wrong or sinful to be angry. What is important is how we deal with the anger. The hardest and the most important thing to do when we are angry is to express that anger in a way that it does not hurt anyone. A friend of mine threw 3 dozen eggs as hard as she could in a field to help dispel her anger. Screaming into a pillow, physical exercise (running), and punching a pillow on the floor are all positive ways to release the anger. Talking about it helps too. Just be careful to talk to someone who will not be judgmental of you.
7. "I Feel So Guilty Because Of What Happened. What Can I Do?"
Feeling guilty after a loss is common. We as humans are always second guessing ourselves. "I should have" or "I could have" are every day words in our vocabulary. When it comes to the death of a loved one, and especially a sudden or traumatic death, we almost always blame ourselves for something. This guilt may be "realistic or unrealistic". Some things you can do are: 1) Be kind to yourself. "Most of this guilt is irrational and centers around the circumstances of the death" (Worden, 2002, p.60); 2) Seek out the help of a counselor or a grief specialist. He or she can help you to see things more objectively.
8. "Should I Talk To A Counselor Or Attend A Grief Support Group?"
If you are asking this question, the answer is probably yes. This is a new experience for you and is affecting you in every aspect of your life. Many people who meet with our Bereavement Coordinator meet just the one time and are encouraged as a result. They then have the resources they need to continue through their grief journey. You can feel free to call Ralph, or send an e-mail message anytime.
9. "What Should I Do Or Say To Someone When They Experience A Death?"
People are often unsure what to do or what to say to someone when a death occurs. We tend to avoid the subject and the person or people who are affected by the death. Avoidance is what not to do. Allow us to give you some practical suggestions of things you can do.
1) Listen. A grieving person does not want to hear your advice or your problems. If you are totally quiet and just listen to them, you and your presence will be appreciated.
2) Say "I am sorry for your loss", or "It must really hurt".
3) Tell the bereaved a story about the deceased. They will be encouraged to know the deceased was significant and special to you too.
4) Attend the funeral or memorial service.
5) Send a card or a note many months and even years down the road to let them know you have not forgotten.
10. "Can You Tell Me How to Help My Grieving Children?"
Yes we can. Feel free to visit the Children & Grief section in this website. There, you will find resources to help your children with their grief. You can also contact Ralph Plumley who is our Bereavement Coordinator. Ralph will take the time to listen to your concerns, and together, you can find the best solution for you and your children. Helping grieving children is something we take very seriously.
When helping children deal with their grief, it is probably most important to remember at least two things:
1) We must be honest in what we say, and
2) we must be open with our emotions.
Children deserve an honest answer to their questions, especially the difficult ones. They also deserve for us to be open with them concerning our own grief. It is OK to cry in front of our children. It will let them know in an honest and open way that we are hurting just like they are. It also gives them permission to cry. As Dr. Alan Wolfelt has stated, "As care givers, openness and honesty are essential" (1998, p. 50).
References
Corr, C. A., Nabe, C. M., & Corr, D. M. (2003). Death and dying, life and living (4th ed.). Belmont, Ga.: Wadsworth/Thomson Learning.
Westberg, G. E. (1985). Good grief: a constructive approach to the problem of loss. Philadelphia: Fortress Press.
Wolfelt, A. (1998). Helping children cope with grief. Bristol, Pa: Accelerated Development.
Worden, J. W. (2002). Grief counseling and grief therapy: a handbook for the mental health practitioner (3rd ed.). New York: Springer Publishing Co., Inc.
Zonnebelt-Smeenge, S. J. & De Vries, R. C. (2002). The empty chair: handling grief on holidays and special days. Grand Rapids: Baker Books.
Five Tips For Grievers During the Holidays
by Jane Galbraith —
The first Christmas without my mother was agony. Actually the month before was probably worse than the day itself. Because my mother had been sick between December 6 and January 11, I relived the whole month, which included Christmas and New Year’s Day. I tried to do things that I had done with my mother in hopes of making everything ”all right”. But of course, it would never be the same.
Grief causes physical and emotional pain. Baby Boomers have come to expect instant pain relief in this fast paced society. Unfortunately, Baby Boomers will be facing this chapter in their lives in a culture that does not give grief the respect or validation it deserves. Grief is an emotion that our society does not want to discuss.
We have been inundated with expressions such as “get on with life” and “closure” and “getting back to normal”. None of these expressions or attitudes helps the grief stricken.
The holidays create even more pain to those grieving. They are a painful reminder of those who are no longer in our lives on a daily basis. What should be a festive and happy time does not feel like it for the grief stricken.
There is an enormous amount of pressure to act “normal” during these holiday times. This seems like an insurmountable task at this time. It is exhausting.
Here are some things that may help you get through these difficult situations:
Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you feel. If journaling or using a support group or special person generally helps, then make sure you take advantage of them during holiday times.
Keep up any traditions that the deceased person started and you can continue. It helps you feel you are honouring the deceased.
Try to establish new traditions that make you and your family feel good about the holiday or include activities you enjoy.
Talk about your loved one with friends and family and encourage them to share favorite stories with you.
Take care of yourself during this stressful time. Anything that makes you feel better should be done. This could be a long walk, massage, listening to music and getting enough sleep.
Holidays are a difficult time but there are ways to get through them without hiding from the pain. Even though the holidays may not be as celebratory as last year, the days pass and you do survive!!!
Jane Galbraith, BScN, R.N., is the author of “Baby Boomers Face Grief - Survival andRecovery”. Her work in the community health field included dealing with palliative clients and their bereaved families and has also assisted facilitating grief support groups. She speaks to many organizations about the subject.
Her book is available through the author directly at jane.galbraith@sympatico.com or www.amazon.com. More information about the book can be found at www.trafford.com/05-2319.
Following article provided by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
"One learns to live with the loss, the tragedy, the waste, and the gaping hole in the fabric of one's life. There is no closure, not would I want one. I want to remember him all my life, vividly; his laughter, the smell of his sneakers under his bed, his moments of joy, his humility, and his integrity."
Susan Storey Lyman, Survivor; Boston, Massachusetts
Coping with the loss of a loved one
Each year, more than 32,000 people in the United States die by suicide. It is this country's 9th leading cause of death. It is estimated that for every suicide, at least six other people - family members, friends, co-workers - are intimately affected, left to survive the terrible loss
These survivors are often left stunned and troubled by the powerful reactions they experience:
Shock is often the immediate reaction to suicide, along with a physical and emotional numbness. These are the ways of temporarily screening out the pain so that it can be experienced in smaller, more manageable steps.
Depression may appear as disturbed sleep, fatigue, inability to concentrate, change in appetite, and the feeling that nothing can make life worth living.
Anger may be part of the grief response, whether directed towards the deceased, another family member, a therapist, or oneself.
Relief may be a part of the reaction when the suicide followed a long decline into self-destructive behavior and mental anguish.
Guilt often surfaces as the feeling, "If only I had done.", "If only I had said or not said."
Why? Many survivors struggle long and hard with this question
What becomes of these intense, relentless feelings? They usually diminish as months and years pass, although some residual feelings may remain unresolved
Maintaining contact with other people is especially important during the stress-filled months after a loved one's suicide. Friends and relatives may feel uncomfortable and unable to offer consolation. Take the initiative to talk about the suicide and ask for their help; it will also help them.
When you feel ready, share with your family and friends your feelings of loss and pain. Understand that each family member may be grieving in his or her own way.
Children experience many of the feelings of adult grief. Remind them that they are still loved by sharing your thoughts and feelings with them and asking them to share theirs with you.
Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays may be stressful reminders of the suicide. Plan these days to meet your own emotional needs and your family's.
You may need to feel guilty for a while before you can accept that you are not to blame and that you are only human, with human limitations.
It is worth trying to understand the feelings of the deceased, but no one gains when the struggle to understand the suicide becomes the only activity that seems worthwhile.
It is important not only to be able to go on with your life, but eventually to enjoy life again, without feeling that enjoyment is disloyal to the deceased.
The survivors of any death need comfort, support, and trusted listeners with whom they can discuss their grief. The stigma of suicide and the shame, guilt, and blame that people feel can isolate suicide survivors in their grief. Many survivors find their relief in support groups, where they can voice their feelings and learn from the experience of others.
Individual counseling with a mental health professional or clergy member is another option to help survivors through their grief process.
"The death of one's child by whatever cause is devastating. In the case of suicide, the agonizing sense of personal loss is compounded by suddenness. and the act itself, which is unfathomable. The bereaved must struggle not only with terrible grief, but with the anguish of relentless self-doubt as to what responsibility may rest with oneself."
Lyman Treadway, Survivor; Cleveland, Ohio
AFSP AND SURVIVORS
Since its inception in 1987, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has reached out to survivors for help in accomplishing its mission of preventing suicide through research and education.
Survivors play a vital role in shaping the Foundation and gathering support for its programs and research. Survivors often become volunteers with the Foundations' chapters; some have founded chapters in communities where none existed.
The Foundation trains the leaders of suicide survivor support groups, and it continually updates its state-by-state directory of these groups located throughout the country. Articles in the Foundation's Lifesavers newsletter help survivors understand suicide and share how others have learned to cope with their loss.
Many survivors establish memorial funds at the Foundation, with the proceeds used to underwrite educational programs and research to prevent suicide indirectly helping other families avoid the pain of this tragic loss.
Here is the grief model called "The 7 Stages of Grief":
7 Stages of Grief...
1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.
2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.
3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.
You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")
4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.
5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.
You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.
Coming to terms with the death of a loved one is one of life’s most challenging journeys. When the death is from suicide, family members and friends can experience an even more complex kind of grief. While trying to cope with the pain of their sudden loss, they are overwhelmed by feelings of blame, anger and incomprehension. Adding to their burden is the stigma that still surrounds suicide.
Survivors of suicide and their friends can help each other and themselves by gaining an understanding of grief after suicide. For survivors, it helps to know that the intensity of their feelings is normal. Friends can learn how to support the bereaved.
A Different Grief
Survivors of suicide – the family and friends of a person who completes suicide – feel the emotions that death always brings. Adding to their suffering is the shock of a sudden, often unexpected death. As well, they may feel isolated and judged by society, friends and colleagues.
Some people compare the emotional stress to being trapped on an endless roller-coaster. Survivors may feel:
•disconnected from their loved one because he or she chose to die
•consumed by a need to find the meaning and reasons for the suicide
•an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the death
•the suicide was malicious, or a way for the deceased to get back at them.
Stigma Affects Mourning
Suicide is a difficult topic for many people. Cultural and religious taboos can lead to judgmental or condemning attitudes. Some people prefer to avoid even discussing suicide and their lack of knowledge about it makes them fearful. Attitudes like these can isolate and further stress survivors.
Stigma leads survivors to feel abandoned by their social network. They describe:
•Being avoided by friends or acquaintances
•Feeling judged
•People behaving as if the death had not occurred
Some survivors perceive stigma that is not really there. They may anticipate difficult questions and disapproval, and withdraw in order to protect themselves.
Whether it is real or perceived, stigma can affect a survivor’s journey to acceptance.
What Survivors Should Know
First, know that you are not alone. Approximately 1 out of 4 people know someone who died by suicide. It can also help to know that:
•Suicide was the decision of the person who died
•It is estimated that the majority of suicides are the result of untreated depression or other mental illness
Survivors Are at Risk
Survivors of suicide are at high risk of completing suicide themselves. The experience suddenly makes the idea of suicide very real, and it is not uncommon for survivors to experience suicidal thoughts. Another factor is that suicide-related illnesses like depression run in families.
Because of this increased risk for suicide, survivors should not be isolated, but rather supported and encouraged to talk about all their feelings – even the most difficult ones.
Survivor Coping Strategies
No two people ever experience grief in the same way, or with the same intensity, but there are strategies that can help you cope with your loss.
•Acknowledge that the death is a suicide
•Recognize your feelings and loss
•Talk openly with your family so that everyone’s grief is acknowledged and can be expressed
•Reach out to your friends and guide them if they don’t know what to say or do
•Find support groups where you can share your stories, memories and methods of coping
•Be aware that anniversaries (e.g. birthdays) can be especially difficult and consider whether to continue old traditions or begin new ones
•Develop rituals to honor your loved one’s life
How Can I Help My Friend?
Showing a willingness to listen is probably the most important thing you can do for a friend who is a survivor of suicide. It may be distressing at first, but you’re not expected to provide answers. Instead, you can be a comforting, safe place for someone who desperately needs to talk.
What you can do:
•Listen with non-judgmental compassion
•Understand that your friend will need time to deal with their loss
•Avoid clichés
•Talk about the person who has died
•Offer practical assistance such as shopping, cooking, driving
•Find and offer information on resources, support groups, etc.
•Be aware of difficult times, like anniversaries and holidays
Our Mission:
•To shine light on a dark event in your life.
•To provide a safe & compassionate place for survivors to share thoughts & feelings with fellow survivors.
•To support you in your grief process.
•To provide education & resources about suicide and depression.
•To reduce the stigma about mental illness and suicide through open communication.
•To refer you to mental health resources and professional therapeutic care.
•To inspire, motivate, encourage and empower our fellow survivors.
Our Core Message:
Even in the wake of your loved one’s suicide, it is possible for you to create a fulfilling and happy life. You will survive this traumatic event. You will learn to thrive again. You will learn to laugh again!
Our Disclaimer:
Kelli and Christa are not medical doctors, therapists, psychologists or psychiatrists. We are fellow survivors. We understand your pain, anger, confusion and sadness. There will be a licensed clinical social worker on hand at these meeting for support as well as each other.
We want everyone to learn to live again, live their lives from day to day and even minute to minute. Yoga exercises, speakers and more will be in the future at this meeting to - to help you through each step of your survival. You will also have access to a library of information to take with you and to borrow from Supporting Kidds including information on how to help children through their grief.
By this group being a peer to peer floor type meeting, we are all able to speak freely to help one another.
We are here to support you and let you know…You Are Not Alone! All are welcome no mater how far out from your loved ones suicide you are, we will embrace your presence and invite you to join us for tea and coffee.
